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Issue 1 (Crash Bandicoot: N-Scapades!)
Crash Bandicoot: N-Scapades! Issue #1, billed as the "Crash Super Summer Spectacular!", was the first issue of the Crash Bandicoot: N-Scapades! comic series. Summary The De-Origin of Species (Part One) One fine day, Crash is watching Watermelonrose Place on Wumpavision. They can finally enjoy peace and quiet now that Cortex is defeated forever, explains his child genius sister Coco. But suddenly, the Wumpavision goes all staticky. Crash is confused, and tries to remedy the problem by adjusting its old-fashioned rabbit-ear antenna. However, Coco quickly realises that this isn't the source of their problems; rather, it would appear that some unscrupulous cretin has uprooted the satellite dish from their back yard! Out of desperation, Crash pulls out his trusty Pocket Wumpavision, only to discover, to his horror, that someone also stole the miniature satellite dish off of it! Crash is dismayed. What will he do without his precious, sweet Wumpavision? Coco claims there's also a lot of fun things to watch in nature, too, and she drags him on an excursion out of the house, to Sunset Vista Island, where they hold hands and watch a sunset together. Coco thinks it's beautiful, but Crash protests that it has "virtually no plot". But suddenly, a giant red beam engulfs Coco! When it subsides, we see that she has been devolved into a normal Eastern-Barred Bandicoot! Crash immediately takes back his complaint about plotlessness. He glances into the distance, and sees the vague silhouette of a giant tower-looking thing. Surely this is the professional sciencing of Dr. Neo Cortex, he thinks! He's not sure what's going on, but he knows for sure that something must be done - his ability to not have to cook for himself depends on it! Crash instantly springs into action, pulling out his favourite snow globe from Snow Go Island. He throws it at the ground, and it explodes, summoning Polar the Polar Bear in a puff of smoke! Polar asks Crash if he's up for sharing a pint of Chocolate Wumpa Chip ice cream, but Crash says there are more important things to worry about. Crash leaps onto Polar's back, and the two dash into the sunset! Meanwhile, in Cortex Castle, Dr. Neo Cortex expresses glee at how his plan is progressing. With his brand-new Problem-Solving Sin-Absolving World-Revolving Technology-Involving De-Evolving Satella-Doohickey, no beast could possibly stand up to him! Soon, he will be rid of those pesky bandicoots forever! And then, finally, he will be able to read Volume N of the Encyclopædia Oceanitannica in peace and quiet! He asks his minions what they all think of his brilliance, partly as an excuse to introduce all of these characters in a quick roundtable. Dr. N. Gin, Mech-Builder Extraordinaire, says of course he thinks it's brilliant, since he's the one who actually had to build the device. Cortex thanks Gin for his hard work, as well as coming up with its spiffy name. Ripper Roo, Scholarly Demolitions Expert, however, is very wary of what Cortex is up to. He notes, "It's never a good idea to run around playing Darwin like this." Pinstripe Potoroo, CEO of Cortex Power, notes that although he admires the evilness of this scheme, it "lacks that up-close-and-personal feel that the Pinstripe is known for", he says, while rubbing a cannon (presumably Tommy) so we all know what he's talking about. Tiny Tiger, CFO of Cortex Power, says that he doesn't quite understand it, but if Uncle Cortie came up with it, it has to be a good scheme! Cortex pets Tiny and thanks him for the compliment. Beaker Bill and Labby Larry, Head Laboratory Assistants, ask if they can be the ones to fire the machine next! "Pweeeeaaaase?" Cortex thinks that idea is thoroughly splendid! Suddenly, Crashie bursts in, riding on Polar! Cortex remains smug. "So we meet again, Crash Bandicoot!" But Crash whines that there's no time for pleasantries! Tiny begs to differ - "There's always time for pheasant trees!", he protests, while imagining a bunch of pheasants pushing him in his favourite tire swing. Cortex just shakes his head, and tells Tiny he'll explain it to him later. Then, the doctor turns to Crash, and tells him that he's finally schemed a scheme that is 100% bandicoot-proof! But Crashie has a plan. He explains that Polar is an amazing genius, and that he'd be able to disable the machine in no time flat. Polar angry barks at Crashie that, although this may be true, he really shouldn't have explained this, out loud, to Cortex! Polar's suspicions are immediately proven to be correct when Bill and Larry immediately throw a pair of beakers up into the air....which land on a giant red button on the device. It quickly fires off a giant red beam that engulfs Polar, devolving him into a normal, non-genius polar bear cub! Crashie supposes that he'll have to take out the machine himself, and he lunges at it with a vicious Spin Attack. However, since the machine is made out of solid iron, he does no damage to it and only manages to hurt his hand. Cortex laughs at his pathetic archrival, and boasts that now Crash Bandicoot cannot avoid being devolved....in four hours. The Problem-Solving Sin-Absolving World-Revolving Technology-Involving De-Evolving Satella-Doohickey takes a little time to recharge, Cortex explains. Dr. N. Gin apologises for his professional failings, but Cortex says it's no big deal. He pulls out a remote and pushes a button, causing a trap door to open up underneath the bandicoot, dropping him into a prison cell! Ginny is impressed, and gazes at his employer admiringly. That Dr. Neo Cortex has thought of everything, he thinks! However, Ripper Roo is unimpressed. "You know, if you would've just let me fill up that prison cell with Nitro Crates, we would already be rid of him!" Cortex says he understands Roo's misgivings, but assures him that they've already got this scheme in the bag. "What could possibly go wrong in four hours?" Meanwhile, Crashie is lying on the rather uncomfortable stone bed in his prison cell. All hope is lost, he thinks, so he might as well just lie back and enjoy some relaxation. He thinks happy thoughts, of Wumpa groves and test pattern rainbows. He is drifting off to sleep...but notices something out the corner of his eye, through the still-open trap door....Cortex's giant satellite machine is made out of a bunch of smaller satellites.....INCLUDING THE ONE THAT WENT MISSING FROM CRASH'S HOUSE! Crashie is now filled a renewed vigor! He leaps toward the ceiling, but Cortex suddenly finally remembers to shut the trap door, causing Crashie to simply smash his head on the underside. When Crashie regains consciousness, he glances at his Wumpocketwatch. Drat! He was out cold for so long, that he only has 15 minutes before the machine recharges now! Putting on an uncharacteristically serious face, Crash focuses his mind on the three people he knows he must save. Coco: the only person who knows how to cook Wumpancakes all perfectly golden brown, just the way he likes it. Polar: the only person who knows where to score the good Chocolate Wumpa Chip iced cream. Satellite dish: the only person who can bring him top-quality entertainment from all around the world! Crashie promises them all that he WILL save them, no matter what the cost.... Detective Tiny in: Cirque du So Lame (Part One) It's the début of Komodo Moe's new one-man three-ring circus act, and all his animal buddies are invited - Ripper Roo, Komodo Joe, Tiny Tiger, and Pinstripe Potoroo! Ripper Roo expositionally says that he's really interested in seeing what Moe can accomplish now that he's departed the Komodo Bros. Circus in pursuit of a solo career. Komodo Joe just complains that they're better off apart, because Moe's an idiot. Tiny disagrees about Moe's stupidity, however, because he was one of the few people Tiny could actually successfully have conversations with. Pinstripe just unrelatedly announces that he really hopes Moe does a human cannonball act. As they walk into the circus tent, they pass by Dr. Neo Cortex, who is deeply offended that Komodo Moe failed to invite him. Uncle Cortie, the man who gave him employment! Tiny just assures Cortex that he'll always be welcome if Tiny starts his own circus act. Cortie finds this to be mildly reassuring, but nonetheless vows his revenge on Moe! Everyone just shrugs, and heads inside. The quartet takes their seats among the crowd, each enjoying a delightful concession stand treat of their choice. Ripper Roo enjoys a slush-based Wumpa Fruit drink, as he can consume it entirely by sucking, without having to use his hands. Komodo Joe munches on several rotisserie chickens he has impaled on his scimitar. Tiny munches on a delicious steak sundae. And Pinstripe....refuses to eat in public, as it would make him look weak in the eyes of his enemies. Tiny helpfully mentions that they're small portions that only take a few minutes to eat, not a week! Pinstripe just brushes this off. Suddenly, the house lights dim, and Komodo Moe takes the stage. He announces that he will begin tonight's show with his biggest and best feat of strength: a perilous tightrope walk, through a cascading artificial waterfall! The audience gasps! Moe grabs his ornate balancing rod, and climbs up a ladder to a staggering height of one hundred feet. Swallowing deeply, he steps out onto the wire. All is going well so far. He slowly ambles forward, gradually picking up a steady rhythm. But as soon as he steps into the waterfall, everything appears to go horribly awry! As he emerges from the other side, his balance has clearly been horribly disrupted, as he stumbles, and tumbles down to the safety nets below! Everyone is shocked, and rushes out of the stands to get a closer look. Komodo Moe is physically okay, but thoroughly humiliated. Tiny tries to offer helpful advice: "Maybe you should practice next time you want to put on a show!" But Moe assures him that he practised very much, actually. He'd gone to great lengths to perfect his act. There's only one possible explanation, says Moe: "I was sabotaged!" Everyone gasps! Moe runs back to his dressing room, crying. Roo, Joe, and Pinstripe look at one another. Regrettably, someone's going to have to go cheer him up. "NOT IT!", they all exclaim! So, it's settled. They order Tiny to go cheer up the depressed lizard. Tiny eagerly agrees, because he likes spreading happiness wherever he goes. In Moe's dressing room, Tiny tries to reassure Moe by reminding him that Tiny fails all the time and everyone still loves him, so he shouldn't be sad about his failure tonight. But Komodo Moe says he's not upset simply because he failed in his attempt at circus freak glory - he's upset because someone hated him enough to try to deprive him of said circus freak glory! He doesn't know who might've done it or what they even did to throw him off balance, since no one so much as left their seat after the show started - but he's adamant that somehow, someone did it! Sadly, he'll never be able to prove it. Tiny says he knows the feeling - last week, someone stole his set of good high-quality lead marbles. Now, he's stuck playing with inferior plastic ones. "No one should ever have to suffer like that," Tiny sadly muses. That's it! He vows to solve the mystery of Moe's sabotaged performance, no matter what the cost! Detective Tiny is on the case! Komodo Moe is ever so pleased that Tiny is willing to help, and gives him a stick of fly gum to show his gratitude. It's a lizard speciality, he says! Tiny doesn't understand this at all - lizards can't fly, because they don't have the wings - but nonetheless graciously accepts it, popping it into his mouth. It's delicious, he thinks! Enjoying the new-found taste explosion, Tiny skips out into the concession area, where Beaker Bill offers popcorn to everyone who has been traumatised by tonight's show. Tiny politely declines, because its flavour clashes with this delightful new fly gum. Komodo Joe likewise declines, because rotisserie chickens are very filling. The only downside to them, he says, it that now he really needs to wash his sword before he can use it again. Good thing it's dishwasher safe! Pinstripe also declines, because, again, he doesn't like to eat in public. Besides, he filled up on marinara sauce before he left the office. But Ripper Roo leaps at the opportunity, because the popping of popcorn reminds him of the TNT Crates he holds dear. He just finished assembling a new batch of TNT Crates today, and there would be no better way to celebrate than by enjoying some popcorn! He effortlessly slips out of his straitjacket, and digs in. Tiny tries to strike up conversation about the crime. Everyone thinks it's horrible, but they have no idea who could've possibly done it. Joe says he's sorry for calling Moe an idiot earlier, because he really did want him to succeed. Now that they're apart, he thought, they could both be successful and happy! "But, alas, 'tis not the case." Tiny is confused, since he's pretty sure that every single person in this room is a lad, but he just shrugs and tries to move on. Ripper Roo agrees that it's a shame, since he always was sort of fond of Moe. Roo didn't get along with him quite as well as he does with his buddy Tiny, but still. Tiny just grins and blushes - if only Joe and Pinstripe were as willing to go on playdates with him as Roo is, he longingly muses. Pinstripe, however, says he's glad it happened, and that Moe probably deserved it. What kind of idiot would leave an extremely successful circus, anyway? People paid to see both of the Komodo Brothers, Pinstripe shouts, not just one! He shakes his fist, and bellows that the only sad thing about all of this is that something terrible didn't happen to Joe too! Tiny thinks this is horrible, but oh well, potoroos will be potoroos. Joe just nervously tugs at his collar. Moe stumbles out of his dressing room, eagerly asking if Tiny solved the case yet. Tiny regretfully informs him that he has not. Moe sighs, and orders everyone to empty their pockets. Everybody reluctantly complies. Tiny reaches into his loincloth pocket and pulls out the wrapper from his fly gum. He takes this opportunity to once again reiterate how delicious and sticky it is. Ripper Roo was only carrying the super glue he uses to assemble his TNT Crates - Sergeant General Merchandise's Wacky Glue! Pinstripe angrily remarks that he needs to find a better hobby, like cannons. He pulls out the miniature cannon he was carrying in his pocket to demonstrate how awesome they look, but Ripper Roo is still unconvinced. Meanwhile, Komodo Joe reveals the only thing in his pockets - it's just a boring old key with the letters "R-R-M" written on it. For a second, Tiny thinks it might be significant - but after calling the circus's security expert, Labby Larry, in for a quick glance, he is informed that the key most assuredly will not open any of the doors in the building. Therefore, the evidence means nothing. After hesitating for a second, Tiny has a new theory - nobody hates Komodo Moe more than those terrible bandicoots, so surely he did it! Larry sighs, and informs him that this was also impossible, since the Bandicoots were all the way over on N. Sanity Island at the time. Moe just rolls his eyes, and complains that he knew Tiny couldn't solve the case! Tiny just walks away, sadly, as everyone laughs at him. Walking by the waterfall, Tiny thinks to himself about his constant failures. He tries hard for Uncle Cortie and Cousin Moe, but they just don't care! But suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spots one of his prized lead marbles over by the water tank. He is excited to be reunited with it, and picks it up, only to discover an icky sticky red stain. At this moment, Tiny turns directly to the reader, and says, "I have no idea who did it, or why, or how. Do you?"